


Sleepless

by CalamityOS



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crimson Flower, F/F, Fluff, How could you side with Rhea though?, Yikes, like seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 21:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalamityOS/pseuds/CalamityOS
Summary: The smell of the dew on the grass and the quiet of the air all around her were the only unfamiliar things about Byleth’s surroundings as she padded quietly through the courtyard. There was only one place she ever wanted to go at times like these, though she’d never told anyone about her fascination with the place. She couldn’t articulate the reason for it even to herself, and her instinct was to be embarrassed. Ever since the ball after the White Heron Cup, Byleth had associated the Goddess’ Tower with the likes of Sylvain or Dorothea; people that made her nervous by their boldness. If someone ever saw her there, they might mistake her actions for that kind of boldness. Just thinking about that made Byleth blush.SPOILERS for Three Houses, specifically Crimson Flower path.





	Sleepless

It had been weeks since Byleth had slept through the night. She’d catch a few hours at a time when it was dark out, breaking up the painful insomnia by reading at her desk or sitting at the window begging for unconsciousness. The days were long and grueling, but she was usually able to find twenty or thirty minutes at a time to sneak off to a corner or a rooftop somewhere and nap long just long enough to dull the sting in her eyes.

But this routine was getting old. Byleth didn’t know how much longer she could subsist on cat naps and strong tea, especially given the quality of the dreams that plagued her few moments of rest. By the end of each day, her body was exhausted and her mind was never far off. Edelgard required a lot from herself, but by nature of their relationship, she required even more from Byleth. One day, Byleth was sure Edelgard would drain her of her last mental capacity and leave her as a melted soup in a puddle on the floor.

So when Byleth found herself awake in the dead of the night, probably awoken by the quiet sounds of the owls, she sighed and swung herself to a seated position on the bed.  _ No use trying tonight _ , she thought.  _ If I’m going to be awake, I’m going to accomplish something _ .

Jeralt had never been one for romance, and Byleth hadn’t either. Nevertheless, there was something strangely thrilling about pulling the long silken robe over her thin shrift and pulling open her dormitory door to face the cool dark of the monastery. Her bare feet made a soft tapping sound each time they lifted off the cold stone, and when the light of the Guardian Moon overhead caught the bright waves of her hair, she would imagine for a moment that a ghost had wandered by just out of her line of sight. If, for the rest of her life, this reminder of Sothis’ presence lingered in her hair, Byleth would still never get used to it.

The smell of the dew on the grass and the quiet of the air all around her were the only unfamiliar things about Byleth’s surroundings as she padded quietly through the courtyard. There was only one place she ever wanted to go at times like these, though she’d never told anyone about her fascination with the place. She couldn’t articulate the reason for it even to herself, and her instinct was to be embarrassed. Ever since the ball after the White Heron Cup, Byleth had associated the Goddess’ Tower with the likes of Sylvain or Dorothea; people that made her nervous by their boldness. If someone ever saw her there, they might mistake her actions for that kind of boldness. Just thinking about that made Byleth blush.

The stairs climbing up to the tower were narrow and, after the last five years of no maintenance, crumbling. But as Byleth reached the point where the stairs cleared the high walls of the monastery and she could look out at the valley and forests below, Byleth stopped her climb and sighed deeply. The cool, sweet air filled her lungs like a drug, and she felt anxieties and discomfort burn away, swept aside to make space for the beauty and mystery all around her. Careful not to trust too much the shaky stone, Byleth leaned up against the stairwell and closed her eyes. They stung with her sleeplessness. She pulled her robe tight across her body and tucked her fingers under her elbows.

“Professor?”

Years of training sent Byleth into a defensive stance instinctually as she turned to face the intruder she hadn’t heard coming.  _ How could I let my guard down like that? Now, of all times? _

Blonde hair tied back in a loose braid and tied with a teal ribbon, Ingrid stood above Byleth on the stairwell, posed as though she’d been walking down and was as surprised to see Byleth as Byleth was to see her. She was wearing a knit nightdress that hung to just over her knees, and her shoulders, like Byleth’s, were covered by a thin silk robe, which was open and floating around her like an angel’s wings.

“This is unexpected,” Ingrid said, smiling warmly and seemingly unfazed by Byleth’s  _ en garde _ stance. “What brings you to the Goddess’ Tower at this hour?”

_ Unexpected _ . The word bounced around Byleth’s brain like a pebble skipping on a pond. She let her muscles relax and returned to what she hoped was a casual pose. “I...couldn’t sleep.”

Ingrid nodded knowingly, her eyes wandering out to the landscape below them. “Yes,” she said quietly. “It’s not so easy anymore.” She seemed to lose herself in thoughts Byleth couldn’t read on her face.

“What are you doing here?” The words spilled from her mouth before she could shine them up at all.

“Oh,” Ingrid looked down at her hands, and Byleth noticed for the first time the large, antique book she was holding. “I couldn’t sleep either, so I came up here to read. I hoped the night air would still my mind and let me rest.”

“What are you reading?” Byleth asked, half reaching for the book. Ingrid held it out for her to see the cover, where a striking Knight stood holding a lance in one hand with her helmet under her other arm.

“It’s a wonderful and true historical story about a woman who served her king as a knight and became a hero for her country.” She lightly touched the intricate lettering with the tip of her finger. “Ashe bought it for me.”

“That sounds like a familiar story,” Byleth said, smirking up at Ingrid through the hair that had fallen in front of her eyes. But her mind focused on other things.  _ Ashe. Unexpected _ . 

Ingrid’s smile was wide and genuine in a way that made Byleth’s stomach jump into her throat. “I’m glad you think so,” she said. “I guess it’s no secret anymore, my childhood dream to become a knight.”

“I wasn’t aware it was a dream that lived in your childhood,” Byleth said, tipping her head inquisitively. “Have you given it up?”

Ingrid’s smile faded and her expression turned anxious. “No,” she said with a small shake of her head. “But so much of my life has become unpredictable, unlike I’d ever imagined it.” She turned, resting the book on the stairwell and looking out over the valley. “I’ve forsaken my family, my King, all that I ever thought mattered to me. I feel like I was walking along a path that had been so straightforward and clear, and all of a sudden it’s night and I have to feel my way along, the rocks and sticks cutting up my fingers as I go.”

_ Unexpected _ . Byleth couldn’t think of anything to say. She had dragged Ingrid into this war, along with all the other students who had followed her into Edelgard’s Strike Force. If Ingrid felt regrets, Byleth couldn’t help but feel responsible.

Ingrid seemed to see the conflict buzzing below the surface of their conversation. “Professor, do you ever think about that night in the Tomb, about that battle with the church and the Imperial forces?”

Byleth blinked. “Yes,” she said, surprising herself with her honesty. “Constantly,” she added, as if it were necessary.

Ingrid looked a bit shocked at this. “Really?” she asked. “What...what do you think about it?”

She thought for a moment, resisting the urge to bite her lip. “I want to know with certainty that I made the right decision,” she said. She closed her eyes and brought her hand to her face to try to rub the sleep and exhaustion and worry from it. “I think about that night and about Rhea, and I remember her calling for me to...to kill Edelgard. To kill a child.”

“She was the Emperor then,” Ingrid said softly, as though she thought they might be overheard. “She wasn’t just a child anymore than she is now.”

“I know,” Byleth said with a sigh. “And I knew that then. But the unquestioning, the lack of hesitation…” She could still see the anger on Rhea’s face, the lines etched into what was usually such a serene, loving expression of care and compassion for her charges at the monastery. “The sudden shift from student to enemy seemed...wrong.” 

_ Guide these open minds with virtue, care and sincerity _ Rhea had requested. Ingrid said nothing, and Byleth couldn’t meet her eyes.  _ Can I explain myself? _ she wondered uselessly.  _ Is there anything I can say to make my choice seem sensible? _

“No one acted perfectly,” Ingrid said after a long silence that pulled at Byleth like a vacuum. Her eyes were unfocused, looking at nothing just over Byleth’s shoulder. “For Edelgard to have been masquerading as the Flame Emperor, for her to still be fighting alongside Solon and his followers…” A visible shiver ran down Ingrid’s body, making Byleth wince with shame. “But...when I heard what Rhea was telling you to do…” Her eyes darted to Byleth’s, holding her gaze hostage. “If you had followed her orders, I probably wouldn’t have questioned it. But I know I would still be living in fear that one day you might do the same to any of us, if Rhea came up with a reason to ask.”

The night air was cold and wet but it poured down Byleth’s throat and into her lungs like a warm drink on a winter evening. Only then did she realize she’d been holding her breath for as long as Ingrid had been speaking.

“The more I think about it,” she continued, glancing around as if following the trail of her thoughts through the air around them, “the more I think that there wasn’t a ‘right’ decision, a perfect person for you to choose in that moment. And now, as we move on, Edelgard’s vision is spreading across Fódlan, and I fiercely hope that the best of her dreams come true and the frightening things we’re all doing to bring them about are eventually forgotten.”

Byleth watched her expressive face as she spoke. The pinch hadn’t left the bridge of her nose; she still looked worried, even afraid. But a resolve had crept into her voice that gave Byleth strength. Gave her hope.

“We’ve all given up a lot to be here,” Ingrid said. “I may never see my father again. I will never serve the man who was born to be my king.” Her eyes found Byleth’s again and held them there. “But every time I go back to that night, I see your face, I hear your voice, I see you facing off against the Immaculate One, standing between her and us, and you no older or wiser than any of us…”

Ingrid rose her hand in a stilted, halting way and made as if to take Byleth’s. Byleth stood completely still, her mind suddenly empty and her skin suddenly warm.

“It wasn’t Edelgard I followed that day,” Ingrid was saying, though Byleth could only just hear her over a ringing that had begun in her ears. “Though I trust her, and I have high hopes for her reign as Emperor,” Ingrid shook her head and stepped closer to Byleth, coming down two of the stone steps, “you were the person I knew was worth standing behind. You were the person I wanted to stay with.”

Byleth felt their fingers intertwining in a warm knot, and she sensed more than saw that as Ingrid was leaning in, Byleth was mirroring her movements. Still holding her book, Ingrid used her free fingers to tug on the loose fabric of Byleth's robe, pulling it, and her, closer. 

"If I'm honest," she said, her face very flush now, her hands shaking, but her voice confident, "I've wanted to stay with you since before I joined your class." Her eyes were twinkling, inlaid with stars. "I've wanted…for so long…to…"

Her eyes were closing and her face was very near Byleth's now. This was exactly the boldness that mad Byleth nervous, only now, so close to Ingrid she could feel the warmth of her face, she was keenly aware that any confidence a person might show at times like these was also mixed with a large helping of vulnerability. 

Every moment that passed, Ingrid's resolve visibly faltered. If Byleth was going to do anything, she needed to do it fast. 

Raising her free hand to Ingrid's cheek, she brought their lips together in a soft but deep kiss. She felt, because she couldn't see, Ingrid open her eyes and jump a little at the realization of what was happening. 

And then she leaned in, wrapping one hand around Byleth's hip, and knotting the other into her hair. Her book fell somewhere behind them on the steps with a light thud. Byleth felt adrenaline pumping through her veins, and as Ingrid bore down on her, Byleth felt herself lifting Ingrid at the waist and bringing her closer. 

Her toe slid over a crumbling corner of the step and she felt a jolt through her body as they both slipped down and almost lost their balance. Byleth caught Ingrid under the arms, almost as if dipping her in a dance. Ingrid looked up at her through her eyelashes, smiling and blushing and laughing lightly. 

"Maybe we should…"

"...Find someplace else?" Byleth offered before she could make a counter suggestion. 

Ingrid's eyes slid off Byleth's face and up behind her. "I mean, they say this…" the red of her face deepened intensely. "They say this is what the Goddess' Tower is for…don't they?" 

Byleth felt her own face burn as she said, "I…believe they do, yes." She straightened and stood, maintaining a light hold of Ingrid's hand, and directing them up the way Ingrid had come. "Shall we?" 

Ingrid's wide, genuine smile had returned. Byleth decided that she would spend the rest of her life doing anything and everything to never let it fade. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I just finished my first run through and was so bummed there wasn't an S option for Ingrid. She's easily in my top five favorites. So I poured my mild frustration into a cute little flit up the Goddess Tower 😘
> 
> 8/30 ETA some continuity and typo fixes.


End file.
